When Stephen and I started creating our budget, I felt hopeless. We had a HUGE hole to dig ourselves out of that was about $100,000 deep, and living paycheck to paycheck was my usual MO. The best thing I did was make sure my mindset was in the right place. We committed fully to getting out of debt, following the plan, and preparing ourselves to make the necessary sacrifices to get us there.
As we were looking over our individual expenses for budgeting, I held on so tightly to little things that I ended up with a lot of resentment. I wanted to keep living this champagne lifestyle that I fooled myself into thinking I could afford. Every time Stephen said “no,” I got mad and hurt. I felt like I was losing control of something that I realized I never really had control over.
Before our journey, my regular expenses for a month included:
- Getting my nails done every 2 weeks – $200
- Expensive cable & internet package – $250
- Expensive make up and skin care – $100
- Eating out for lunch 3-5 times per week – $250
- Shopping budget – $500
- Grocery shopping – $400 (I was single and ate out most of the time)
- Eating out 3-7 times per week— $600
I knew all of these things could be eliminated or cut back, but man was it hard. I remember that I CRIED OVER CUTTING OUT CABLE! More than that, though, I cried over a life that I knew I was going to say goodbye to and needed to stop pretending like I could maintain. I knew it would be for the better, but I had no idea it would be so hard. It wasn’t easy, but I can tell you on the other side, IT WAS SO WORTH IT! So here are some tips that helped me.
10 Tips from a Spender
1. Write out your needs (and then prepare to pause half of them)
Come up with an essential list of things you NEED, and maybe be prepared to compromise. If your budget isn’t realistic, it is going to cause friction. Try out a low number for a month or two, you’d be surprised at your willpower! I tried not to look at it as eliminating something, but pausing it for now.
2. Compartmentalize your budget
Be specific in your budget; we had a whole category for “Porscha’s Budget,” and we broke it up into line items: make-up, hair, fun money, clothes, and misc. Not having it all lumped into one “fun money” category really helped me feel like I was getting my “needs” taken care of and that I wasn’t using my fun money for necessities.
3. Be ready to compromise
I know I said this above, but it’s necessary to mention again. Remember that you will absolutely feel like THIS IS NEVER GOING TO END when you get told “no” or “you need to wait 2 weeks.” Whenever I wanted something that wasn’t in the budget or I forgot to add, I went in knowing it was going to be tense. It’s the Saver’s job to keep control, and it’s the Spender’s job to make sure we’re realistic and still having some fun!
4. Review your subscriptions and reoccurring charges
When I checked my reoccurring charges, I found that I had a 6 months supply of razors built up, and I was still getting new ones mailed to me each month. I was paying for services I was never using and unnecessary things that were adding up. $10 a month is $120 a year; it doesn’t sound like much, but combined with the other items you cut out, it turns into a nice chunk of change that can go toward paying down your debt.
5. Build-in Fun Money
This one was KEY for me, I never thought I could live on $100 a month, but I DID IT. I needed a “no questions asked” fun money budget to buy whatever I wanted. I even took it out as cash in the beginning since I didn’t want Stephen to judge my purchases. Eventually, I saw that as long as I was upfront and would just tell the person who categorizes the charges that “the $15 from Amazon was fun money”, it gave us both a little more peace. This was a flex category for us; if something came up unexpected, sometimes we would dip in our fun money to cover it or want a glass of wine or dessert with dinner out.
6. Check your budgeting tool
Before you even walk in the store, check your budgeting tool, whether it’s YNAB (what we use), a shared spreadsheet, or another app and be prepared to only spend what is budgeted. If it’s the beginning of the month or pay period cut that number in half, I can’t tell you how many times I spent all my fun money week one or sometimes day one!
7. Be transparent and prepare for questions
Whenever an amazon box came to the door, we’d always announce where the money came from. Was it a birthday gift, fun money, dog treats (which is most often was), etc.? That helped us get over the tension because we knew if it was “fun money” that it was off-limits to discuss.
8. STAY AWAY FROM TARGET
We all have that one store that is our weakness (yes even men.. *cough* best buy *cough*), the logo immediately improves our mood, the bright colors of the well-placed dollar section or clearance section draws you in. Well, mine was Target, in the 14 months it took us to pay off our debt, I only went to Target alone (Stephen HATES shopping so there was no way I’d get to look at anything with him around) maybe 4 times. I’m pretty sure there was a 6-month stretch that I didn’t even walk into target because I knew I couldn’t say no to ALL THE THINGS even with a full fun money budget!
9. Tell people
Don’t hide the fact that you are dedicated to securing your financial freedom! Our family thought we were crazy, but they respected us when we said “no” to things. People understood our goals and were more inclined to either be generous or choose a budget-friendly option if they invited us somewhere. Share your wins with people too, when we hit a milestone we shared it with those close to us, and they celebrated with us!
10. Fix your mindset
This isn’t 2 people against each other, it’s 2 people united to becoming financially free!
It wasn’t until I really saw our debts being paid off that I started to believe this would work. That’s what the debt snowball is all about, motivation! It wasn’t about the Saver trying to control things, it was me giving up the idea in my head of how “normal” people live and committing to sacrificing for a better future for our family. Once that clicked in my head, I found myself being the one to willingly cut expenses out because I knew it would help us reach our goal that much faster. Mind you, it was selfish ambition a little too, because the quicker you get out of debt, the closer you are to financial freedom!
** Bonus Tips: Don’t Stop Dreaming
This was key for us and keeping up our motivation. Dreaming about what life would be like when we were debt-free encouraged us to work harder and make sacrifices.
- Plan your debt-free celebration! We agreed to go to a fancy dinner at Del Frisco’s to celebrate, and I wanted to get my nails done. What are one or two things you miss the most?
- Plan what life looks after you have a fully-funded emergency fund. We wanted to go on a vacation to the beach!
- Dream about retirement. What are your goals? This will also help you decide how much you will need to retire and help motivate you to invest.
